Twenty-three years ago, Lynn Shiner’s ex-husband murdered her two children, Jen and Dave, 10 and 8, on Christmas Day. This nightmare, her despair and anger, left her numb, afraid, and “zombielike,” with intense, overwhelming feelings, visions and memories.
Yet, throughout her journey, she suffered feelings of inadequacy and anxiety as she struggled to fit her experience into the wisdom of traditional psychiatric models, stages and timelines, designed to help. Based on her journey, she felt her experience was better expressed as a trajectory that included a more realistic approach that included the event, the work and the forever, eliminating the word closure. In her mind, “You love them forever. Why wouldn’t you grieve them forever?”
Lynn and Lisa Zoll, Clinical Psychiatric Specialist and Instructor of Social Work at Temple University, explored this new approach to grief and today, their new book, Grief: The Event, The Work, The Forever – A self-help book brought to you by the letter ‘R’ shares a less structured approach that allows grievers to focus on their journey, rather than on stages, timeframes and expectations.
We sat down to hear Lynn’s story.